Posted on October 4, 2005


this is a funny article i got from click the city. a bit long but worth reading, hehe.

by Freude Baggins

Do you Friendster? It’s so much fun, huh? I am totally digging it now, especially the testimonials. Better late than never, like I always say.

When all this Friendster mania exploded a couple of years ago, I couldn’t help but be intrigued by it. Then I found out that all the people I despise have accounts so I told myself I’m not going to be part of that thing.

I also thought that it was the work of the devil.

Here’s this site where you can find your friends (supposedly) from way, way back or from way, way front and you tell them things like “You are so nice and you can count on this person through thick and thin and she is so cute and smart and yadda yadda yadda” and all that really annoying hypocritical stuff. I mean, if you’re really friends, why do you need testimonials to prove it, right? You can say those words to her in front of her pimply face over lunch or something.

Some people would argue “They’re living abroad eh” or “I haven’t seen them in like years” and all, and I can understand that (I am very understanding, swear to God). But what I am saying is, if you are really fond of this person, you would move heaven, hell and everything in between just to find him or her, right? You wouldn’t wait for something like Friendster or Myspace to do it for you. You can also call them. If you think cellphone costs are stratospheric, you can use Skype, you know!

I just didn’t get the logic of it all. And all those testimonials! Goodness, if all those testimonials were true, it could only mean that there isn’t a single bad person in the world. People are lying left, right and center and everyone is oblivious. It’s like they’re blowing each other off and they call themselves “friends.” Friends aren’t supposed to sugarcoat things, they’re supposed to tell the truth exactly as it is. Only true friends can tell, and can handle, THE truth. I can’t handle the truth that’s why I avoid friends.

Another evil thing about it is the narcissism surrounding it all. God, why would anybody announce to the whole world that they read these types of books or they watch these kinds of movies or wanna hang out with these sorts of people or post their recent vacation trips to Burkina Faso or some other isolated place? It’s just so phony! It just killed me.

I had the feeling that people do that to make other people envious. It’s their way of saying that they’ve achieved this much in life. Oh, look at me, Little Mister Snot in grade school. I am so successful now, I go to this school, I work at this prestigious company, I am a bigshot now! Be envious! You used to be Miss Prom but now you’re pregnant and miserable, while I, former Miss Geek, am very sucessful and a total hot property that every guy wants a piece of me.

Admit it, you are so envious you want to flatten me and turn me into green pea! Nobody says it as straightforward as that in Friendster, of course, but you can read it between the lines. And you can sense it, like a thick fog enveloping, ready to asphyxiate you at any given time.

Apart from revenge, vanity and vindictiveness, Friendster also reeks of immorality, which is the most diabolical thing of all. All those people looking for their long-lost high school crushes and checking out if they’re still single and available. If not, they will pursue them anyway just to have a closure of some sort. It’s just bad, bad, bad! It gives me the shivers just thinking about all the lascivious things going on in that site.

But that was then. People change, you know. I now think of Friendster as the work of a genius. Whoever invented it should be made recipient of the Nobel Prize. Really.

Speaking of Friendster, the TV director who was recently accidentally shot and killed inside a Makati bar called V (I remember there was a series called “V” which was a cross between the “X-Files” and “Taken”) has an account. The creepy thing about it is the fact that he updated it the night before he died. Creeeeepy. I wonder what his Friendsters will do if his profile suddenly changes? Good grief, I would probably faint. It’s kinda creepy too that he is buried and all but his account is still floating in cyberspace.

Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, dear president of the republic I call home, also has a Friendster account. It isn’t really hers, of course, but I just want to talk about her and I need a connection of some sort just to make the transition from one topic to another as seamless as possible. See? You didn’t even feel a thing. Or did you?

All this issue about GMA cheating in the last elections, her being confident or gullible (whichever) enough to actually use a cellphone to contact the now infamous Garci (Mr. Garcillano) and have a very incriminating exchange with him…it’s just so stupid it’s almost comical. It’s interesting, to say the least, to see what she is going to do now. A Wag the Dog scenario would be good, but with the way things are going, the government may need to wag the whole dogpound, or better yet, wag the whole zoo.

I am currently reading a Dan Brown novel so my frame of mind right now is that of a conspiracy theorist. The main reason why I think that this whole Bishop Cruz molesting an altar boy issue is one of the government’s doing is to make people forget (for at least 24 hours) about the scandal plaguing the Prez. The sudden fare increase is also one of them. Cardinal Sin’s death is also one of them. I am not saying that they killed him but you never know. (It’s so Dan Brown.) And lastly, the Kris Aquino-James Yap wedding. Not only did that news made me forget about the “Hello, Garci” scandal, it also made me avoid the news altogether.

Now that, I can proudly say, is the work of a smart government.

To end this on a Friendster note, if you have the time and inclination, why not befriendster Freude? His addy is Don’t forget the testimonials. You can make it as brutally honest as possible. If you can insert a few positive things that will make him look good to other people, go ahead and write it. Nobody is stopping you, least of all him. Try to make it as long and lucid as possible. Wow, I am so shameless.